cheez whiz

I'm sorry to have to break it to you, but Cheez Whiz is probably going to kill you. Personally, I've never liked it, but my little sister used to eat it every morning on her toast, sometimes with peanut butter. I have no idea how she did that. I've recently done some research on the bright orange goop, and I am soooooo happy I never at any of it.

Scary Fact #1: If you put Cheez Whiz in the freezer, it will become solid. Then when you take it out, it will thaw, but it will never soften. It just stays hard. That says something about the chemicals that they must put in it.

Scary Fact #2: Some of the chemicals used to make Cheez Whiz can also be found in house cleaning products. I'm sure those do great things for your body. For example, the industrial strength cleaner, trisodium phosphate somehow became a food additive.

Scary Fact #3: Cheez Whiz is actually purple-ish gray in colour before they add a load of orange food colouring. That's just not natural.

Scary Fact #4: Cheez Whiz glows in ultraviolet light.

Scary Fact #5: If you put a wick in it, you can burn a large jar as an emergency candle that lastsabout 6 hours.

Scary Fact #6: Although it may lose some of it's viscosity, Cheez Whiz doesn't actually expire for years if it's kept in a sealed jar.

Now I'm just speculating, but I'm pretty sure that if you eat Cheez Whiz right before a nuclear explosion, you will turn into some sort of zombie. As you know, zombies will overrun everything. http://gameinformer.com/cfs-filesystemfile.ashx/__key/CommunityServer.Blogs.Components.WeblogFiles/00.00.00.00.09/3683.Flowchart.jpgSo as a precaution, please, please avoid Cheez Whiz. I only have one flame thrower in my bunker.

Live long and prosper.