cheez whiz

I'm sorry to have to break it to you, but Cheez Whiz is probably going to kill you. Personally, I've never liked it, but my little sister used to eat it every morning on her toast, sometimes with peanut butter. I have no idea how she did that. I've recently done some research on the bright orange goop, and I am soooooo happy I never at any of it.

Scary Fact #1: If you put Cheez Whiz in the freezer, it will become solid. Then when you take it out, it will thaw, but it will never soften. It just stays hard. That says something about the chemicals that they must put in it.

Scary Fact #2: Some of the chemicals used to make Cheez Whiz can also be found in house cleaning products. I'm sure those do great things for your body. For example, the industrial strength cleaner, trisodium phosphate somehow became a food additive.

Scary Fact #3: Cheez Whiz is actually purple-ish gray in colour before they add a load of orange food colouring. That's just not natural.

Scary Fact #4: Cheez Whiz glows in ultraviolet light.

Scary Fact #5: If you put a wick in it, you can burn a large jar as an emergency candle that lastsabout 6 hours.

Scary Fact #6: Although it may lose some of it's viscosity, Cheez Whiz doesn't actually expire for years if it's kept in a sealed jar.

Now I'm just speculating, but I'm pretty sure that if you eat Cheez Whiz right before a nuclear explosion, you will turn into some sort of zombie. As you know, zombies will overrun everything. http://gameinformer.com/cfs-filesystemfile.ashx/__key/CommunityServer.Blogs.Components.WeblogFiles/00.00.00.00.09/3683.Flowchart.jpgSo as a precaution, please, please avoid Cheez Whiz. I only have one flame thrower in my bunker.

Live long and prosper.

sick as dog

As you may have guessed, I am pretty frigging sick right now. I'm coughing up a storm, I can't swallow, my nose is clogged, and all my muscles ache...you get the picture. But it made me wonder, where on earth did the expression "sick as a dog" come from?

I don't think dogs get sick any more than people do. They probably get sick less actually. And when they do get sick, it's not always this big horrible ordeal that would inspire a new expression. So why do people chose to pick on dogs? I have plenty of friends who own dogs, and they all seem perfectly decent (the dogs I mean...not so sure about the friends...).

Anyways, seeing as I'm sick, I am far too lazy to research this. I let you down, I know. I apologize. But if you do happen to know where the expression came from, let me know. You will be the hero of a sick bitch (I'm assuming this is appropriate here since we are on the topic of dogs, and I am cranky out of my mind).

That reminds me, since DOG starts with D, that D is for Doctor Who Defeating Doctor Doom in a Deadly Disco Dance-off. This brings us to the fun site of the day (courtesy, once again, of my geekiest buddy). http://unrealitymag.com/index.php/2010/03/25/the-most-badass-alphabet-ever/#comment-83256 This truly is the most badass alphabet ever. It makes a ton of Star Trek references, which makes me happy. Gotta go sleep off these evil bacteria now.

Live long and prosper.

PS. Interested in Bacteria?? Here is a BONUS SITE! http://www.cellsalive.com/ecoli.htm This is why we are not all dead.

plaid evil

Have you ever wondered why people wear weird things? Yeah. Me too. for example, why on earth would anyone in their right mind wear plaid flannel? I mean, unless you're living on a ranch in the middle of nowhere, it's hideous. If you are one of those people that wears plaid and checked shirts, STOP IT!

Do people think that just because a store or magazine says something, they have to do it? That's a terrible habit. And to quote Alice In Wonderland a little bit here (if you havn't seen it, please do so soon. It's amazing. I recommend the 3-D version. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LjMkNrX60mA), if someone told you that wearing a codfish on your head was proper, would you do it? Then why do you insist on wearing plaid? It doesn't even match anything.

The other thing that bothers me about plaid shirts, is that guys and girls both wear them very similarly. The patterns and colours are identical. That's not to say that guys and girls can't wear similar clothing. I'm all for chicks wearing jeans. But when you get to a point where you can't tell guys and girls apart from the back, you've got a problem.

While we're on the subject of hideous items of clothing, what's with those Ugg boots? Sorry ladies, but they make you look like you just got back from mammoth hunting with your tribe. They look bad when they get wet, and I can't imagine that they're very warm when you use them as winter boot.

I am totally not sorry for trashing your clothing if you like that sort of stuff. Just don't do it.

Live long and prosper.

a lollipop the size of my face

So today I bought a lollipop.

It's the size of my face.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=42Lf7yNhdtk

This is relevant. Trust me.

That's pretty much it.

Live long and prosper.

stop looking at me, storm troopers!

I must have you know, that as I'm writing this, I am being watched. So I will speak in code.

Fiddich potato tray, under um dummdy attic. Crunchy guillotine.

That means nothing in any language at all. I'm just trying to throw off the Storm Troopers. There are about 20 of them standing in a poster on my wall, staring at me, and it's a little unsettling. I would take it down, but it was a gift from my friend.

Now I have a bit of a dilemma. Should I leave it up so my friend is happy with me, or should I choose to preserve my sanity? Quite honestly, there is very little sanity left to preserve. Yet this is the friend who asked me if I would kindly hide my Star Wars literature when she came over, so that it's easier for her to admit that she knows me.

As you surely know, the Storm Troopers were tools of the light side in "Star Wars- The Clone Wars" but then turned against the Jedi knights in "Star Wars- Revenge of the Sith" and fought for the dark side through the rest of the original trilogy. So I'm not sure which Storm Troopers are on my poster.

I would like to believe that they are the clones that saved Padme, Anakin and Obi Wan, along with hundreds of other Jedi Knights on Geonosis. In that case, they are still acceptable enough to be hanging on my wall.

In honour of Star Wars, here is today's link: http://edandmari.com/starwars/Lords.html

The Hall of the Sith Lords gives a lot of information on characters from the Star Wars books, as opposed to the movies. (You should read them). I hope it enlightens you.

After saying all that, and knowing full well that this is a completely different sci-fi series reference...

Live long and prosper.

sushi

I am covered in sticky rice. It's stuck all over my hands. I keep finding pieces on my back, my pants, even in my shoes. It's kind of like sand after a vacation, it just gets everywhere. I guess that's the price I had to pay for taking a sushi-rolling class this afternoon.

At least I know what I'll be eating for the next few weeks.

Somehow, sushi got me thinking about Firefly (the TV show). Probably because Mandarin was one of the main languages to survive. And I know that the Mandarin language has nothing to do with Japanese food, but it reminded me that I need to have a really good rant about the cancellation of Firefly at some point.

So since today's theme is Asian, here's a show you might enjoy: http://www.zomganime.com/search/Ouran+High+School+Host+Club

Ouran High School Host Club is rather addictive, so I would suggest you don't start watching until you have a lot of time. Actually, you'll probably only get to watch a couple episodes at a time, because Megavideo is stupid. (But I'm sure you already knew that)

Special thanks for this post goes to my buddy Kiwwieh. I'm not sure why, but she's kind of awesome. OH! I just came up with a reason. She was the one who showed me half of my favourite websites. And she speaks like lolcat. That alone makes her my hero.

In conclusion...there is sticky rice in my hair too!!!

Live long and prosper.

...and a pin with a kiss.

Good evening! Or good morning, depending on where you're from.

So just to give you a little bit of an idea of what you're dealing with here: I am absolutely mad. I'm one of those freakish kids who's hair is never the same colour for longer than a month. I am definitely a sci-fi geek, but that probably wasn't even worth mentioning. You'll figure it out soon enough.

My wardrobe is probably a little ahead of it's time, but it goes with my personality. One of my favourite pieces is a round black pin with a red kiss mark on it (I'd say it makes a milder statement than most of my stuff). I'm totally not boasting here, but you need to know up front that I am super creative, and most of what I say will probably not never make some sort of sense most of the time...I think. See what I'm saying?

Well, I think that's plenty about me. Now let's address the matter of you. You aren't doing your homework right now, are you? Perhaps you have a big project due tomorrow, or a job to finish, but you're spending your time on the internet. If that's the case, you are amazing, and you are not alone. If not, go away. I don't want you here. Of course I doubt anyone who isn't putting off something relatively important would be wasting their time on this anyways.

So to help those of you that love to procrastinate, I'll keep a steady stream of links to online comics, interesting game sites, and other fantastic blogs coming. Hmmm...I think introductions should be kept short and sweet don't you? So I'll show you my favourite comic site ever, then I'm off to bed. If you already know about this one, don't get too upset, it's rather popular. I just feel the desperate need to share it with anyone who has not yet experienced it's amazingness. http://xkcd.com/391/ .

Live long and prosper.