anorexic plastic

If there's one thing I love to do, it's spend money. On my friends, myself, strangers who need a few extra dimes at the vending machines, or those creepy Salvation Army Santas who glare at you until you empty your pockets.

On a totally related note (I promise) I've

recently started working at a grocery store, and

have a lot of extra money to spend. The only

problem with that, is all my money has to be stored

on a strange, rectangular card made of flexible

plastic. And that thing has issues. We're talking

anorexia, social anxiety, depression, not to

mention it's blatant disregard for any rules I set

down.

That crazy card goes on a mad binge every two weeks, then suddenly, it throws up everything it possibly can before it's forced to eat again. No wonder it never gains any weight. As if that weren't bad enough it gets so tiny that I can rarely find it when I need it.

It's so ashamed of itself that it hides in the deepest folds of my bags, totally unwilling to let the rest of the world see it. It stays tucked away for ages. Half the time, when I do find it, it doesn't even work, or it swipes the wrong way so that people can't see it's face.

Don't get me wrong, I love my little anorexic piece of plastic, but there are days when I wish I could just snap it in half; It has a nasty rebellious side to it. It will go and purchase luxury items that are no where to be seen on my carefully laid-out shopping lists. This of course causes it to lose weight much faster, until it withers away into nearly nothing.

So for all of you out there with those strange plastic cards at your fingertips, take care to raise them well, in order to avoid such difficulties. If anyone's like me, you might do better to shop online. Check out http://www.noisebot.com/?gclid=CLjnr_KI_Z8CFeSL5wodlF4Hlw for a bit of a laugh, without the risk of your card throwing up.

Live long and prosper.